Many Loves:An Alternative Loving Lifestyle?
In the 21 st century Western world, the establishment of Monogamy, one man partnered with one woman for life remains a social and religious construction which is still widely assumed to be the ideal and only valid relationship model for society. Our culture, legal system and familial structures are predicated upon this model and anything that deviates from it as viewed as a perversion. Therefore, rational challenge is virtually taboo, so deep is the assumption that this is the only legitimate form for relationships to take.
Notwithstanding the nostalgic value placed on Monogamy as the one successful way to operate, reality demonstrates the reverse, as levels of divorce and relationship breakdown continue to rise inexorably. It’s clear that for many, despite the fantasy of a perfect soul mate for life, the practice of monogamy is simply unsustainable. One has only to look at the explosion of online websites for those who wish to indulge in deceit of their partners to see that there is a deeply cynical, hypocritical aspect to the whole system.
With longevity increasing so that escalating numbers of people live to 90 years of age and beyond, perhaps the model of one partner for such a protracted lifespan is simply unrealistic. My blog considers one alternative, Polyamory‘Loving Many’‘Many Loves’
What is Polyamory?
Polyamory
Therefore, rather than indulge in deception, destroy any pre-existing relationship, or suppress feelings, polyamorists take an alternative path, one requiring continual deep levels of communication and negotiation. They are at liberty to follow any sexual attraction and develop new attachments, including physical relationships, with more than one adult, providing they have the consent of all parties involved. The focus is on honesty, love and emotional fulfilment rather than recreational physical or sexual relationships.
The concept of Polyamory
Ethical values:The one thing polyamorists agree is unethical is duplicity, because betraying another’s trust is perceived as an immoral, unacceptable form of behaviour. This set of ethics also extends to protecting the sexual health of any partner/s. Consequently, polyamorists are expected to communicate with their partners so that everyone is clear that multiple relationships are occurring. However, in my view, this has to be something which is mutually welcomed and does not give someone carte blanche to manipulate a lover into an unwanted polyamorous relationship.
Structure:Polyamory